Love of What?
by Michaelalizzy
Summary: A simple question one night leads to one another, which leads to another, which eventually leads to Sebastian confessing his love for Ciel. But... could it be a misunderstanding? Does Sebastian love Ciel as a person or... as a meal? Will Sebastian learn to love Ciel for the human he is? Or can Ciel teach him?
1. Chapter 1

**I feel really bad for ignoring my other stories but things keep happening… mainly writer's block… and it won't go away… so I try something different. And, whenever I have time at school… I write. Like this? I wrote this is geometry over the course of a week. Because geometry is easy. (But no one thinks I can keep up because I'm the youngest, smallest freshman, at only 13 years old, and they're mainly sophomores about to get their driver's licenses. But boy, will I prove them wrong. XD)**

_** Disclaimer: Sebastian: Not mine. Ciel: Not mine. Simple enough? **___

"Do you ever consider leaving me?"

The demon turned around from his current position by the door, ready to leave his master for the night, "Leaving you? Whatever brought this on, my lord?"

Ciel scowled, though it did nothing to hide his adorableness, "I asked you a question. Just answer it."

Sebastian sighed and took a couple steps to place the candelabra on the dresser. He moved closer to his master still before replying, "No, I would never even dream of leaving you. You should know that."

"Is that just because you don't sleep in the first place?"

The jet-black haired man chuckled, "Of course not, it's a figure of speech. What I mean is, no, I don't consider leaving you, I don't plan on leaving you, and I will never leave you. I'll be with you until the end."

The response came quickly, as if it had been rehearsed, "What if I ordered you to leave me?"

Sebastian, always attempting to keep up with his master and his slightly perplexing questions, answered, "Then I would leave you, but stay close enough to watch over you and protect you if need be."

"What if I give you permission to leave?

"I would choose to stay."

"Sebastian, you have my permission to leave right now, and never come back. What are you going to do?"

"With all due respect, sir, I'd prefer to stay by your side."

"Sebastian, why do you stay with me?"

Growing weary of his master's beating around the bush, Sebastian questioned, "What's with the sudden questions, young master?"

Ciel glared from his spot on his bed, "Don't respond to a question with a question. I've allowed you to leave me, so why do you stay?"

Though startled by the intensity of this particular question, Sebastian didn't allow it to show, instead shrugging and acting as if it didn't matter, "My lord, you know full well that we're bonded together until the end. Whenever that may be, I'll with you."

Ciel was obviously expecting this answer, "So you stay because of the contract."

Sebastian blinked, "You wish for me to tell you the truth, correct?"

"Always."

"Yes, I stay because of the contract."

Ciel closed his eyes in slight fatigue… or was it hurt? "I knew that. You don't stay because of any emotions or feelings you may have towards me, correct?"

This conversation shouldn't be happening and Sebastian was unsure of why he was letting it continue, "Not quite. I stay because of the contract, but also for something else."

The young earl's eyes flashed open, a light purple glow emanating from his contracted eye, lighting the room slightly, "And what may that something else be?"

Sebastian smirked and cocked his head slightly, "If I tell you, will you go to sleep now? You are, after all, my _young_ master."

Ciel growled at the emphasis on the word 'young' but decided arguing about it would delay his answer, "Fine. Whatever. Just tell me. Sebastian Michaelis, why do you stay with me?"

The demon crossed to the door, picking up the candles on the way out. His gloved fingers were on the door before he decided to answer, "I stay because I love you."

And he was gone.

**Don't fangirl out right now! There's a couple more chapters coming and Ciel may experience his first heartbreak. I know this chapter focused mainly on their conversation but we'll dive into their feelings very, **_**very **_**soon. Review if you feel like it! See you later people!**


	2. Chapter 2

** Woo Hoo! Next chapter! I have some great news at the end of the chapter. I highly suggest you read it. I'm excited. XD But I hope you like this chapter! I'm excited for it too! **

The next morning, Ciel did it.

He did what he had wanted to do ever since that fateful night.

He kissed his butler.

He kissed Sebastian Michaelis.

Just as his butler leaned down to help tie his master's familiar blue ribbon gently around his neck, Ciel, without even thinking, tilted his face and kissed Sebastian's cheek. Instead of letting his butler speak he quickly covered his mouth and whispered through his fingers, "I love you too, Sebastian."

The demon blinked and straightened slowly as his gloved fingers rose to meet his cheek where Ciel's lips made contact with his own skin, "Y-Young master, I-"

Ciel averted his gaze, choosing to stare at his delicate fingers clasped in his lap, "It's true, Sebastian. It's been true ever since I met you. And- and I'm just glad you feel the same way. I- I have to say this. I- I love you, Sebastian." Ciel gripped his fingers together harder, knuckles turning even paler than normal. A small, happy blush colored his cheeks and a little smile graced his boyish features.

A moment of silence. Nothing was said. Faint bird chirps could be heard from outside the thick glass of the large window.

What Ciel had hoped, what he expected, would happen next would be Sebastian shows some sort of affection or caring, maybe say that he loves his little master. Ciel would be happy and they'd be able to show their feelings toward each other with no restraints. Until the time to take Ciel's soul came. But he would worry about that when the time drew nearer.

"Young master… I believe… that you misunderstood me…"

Ciel's heart skipped a beat and his stomach fluttered uncomfortably. He snapped his eyes up to meet Sebastian's uneasy face, smile disappearing slightly, "Wh-what do you mean, Sebastian?" His chest clenched further and a shudder of heat ran through his small body, ironically chilling him to the bone.

Sebastian knelt down forcing himself to look up into Ciel's eyes, "I- I mean… there's no easy way to say this… my lord… I apologize but…" His hand rested itself on the earl's petite, exposed knee. He seemed so small, so vulnerable, so confused in this moment. And he seemed so hurt, "Wh-when I said I loved you… if I had known you felt this way, I never would have said it…" He paused slightly. When the pause lengthened into something uncomfortable, Ciel placed his own fingers over Sebastian's.

"Sebastian… what are you trying to say?"

The raven's own fingers tensed slightly under the light touch, "I- I mean… now, please don't take this the wrong way but… when I said… what I said… I didn't mean… as a person. I meant I loved you… as a… soul." Sebastian drew back a bit but purposefully stayed close enough for Ciel to strike him should he so choose.

Anger flared in Ciel was but quickly replaced by sadness and confusion. His face flushed an incredible shade of red. His mouth opened and closed in many failed attempts to speak. The birds outside fell silent, the only sound was Ciel's pounding heart and head. He looked down at his hand and jerked it and his knee away from Sebastian's warm fingers. He drew back on the bed, gathering his knees close to his chest, still staring at Sebastian. His entire body was numb. "I-I-I-" was all he could get out.

They sat there, Ciel stuttering and Sebastian silent. Both hearts pounding, both faces flushing, both stomachs trembling, both thrown out of their comfort zone into unfamiliar territory. Both scared out of their minds.

Figuring it was his duty to speak first, Sebastian attempted to compose himself and speak, "Young master, please do not take this personally. It's just that demons can't love. I'm sure that if we knew how then-"

"Shut up, Sebastian. I don't want to hear it," Ciel's voice was low and if you hadn't spent time around him, it would seem surprisingly steady. But Sebastian knew Ciel inside and out and he could tell how upset his little master was. He could tell tears were stinging the back of his lustrous eyes and that sobs were being choked back.

"My lord, I'm not lying to you, please listen, I-"

"Get out…"

"My lord, please-"

"How dare you! Get the hell out of here, Sebastian!" Ciel's voice rose and he yelled, throwing pillows and anything else in his reach at Sebastian with tremendous force. His face grew red with fury and embarrassment. How dare his butler trick him like that! How dare his butler get his hopes up like that! How dare he! "Now! That's an order! Get out of here!"

Sebastian was sure that if Ciel were a demon he would have destroyed his butler already. He hastily exited the room, firmly shutting the door behind him.

**Okay, please don't hurt me. XD I said not to get too excited but if you didn't listen to me, then that's your fault. **** I'm sorry I did this to poor Ciel, I feel really bad now. But more chapters are coming, hopefully longer, and I'm excited for them, as you should be.**

** I said I had good news, did I not? So here it is. I'm going with a couple of my friends to an ANIME CONVENTION! AHHHH! It'll be the first one for most of us, and I found out yesterday. It was supposed to be a birthday present but I found out about with a friend and when I asked my mom about going she said, 'Happy Birthday.' And I was like, 'What?' And she told me she was planning on taking me anyways and I screamed. I screamed and squealed and fangirled out. Want to know the best part? My friends and I were planning on cosplaying as Black Butler characters anyways. And they've agreed to go with me and I'm SO excited. But one more thing… just to make it all so much better. J. Michael Tatum, Sebastian's voice actor is going to be there! AHHH! I'm so excited. I want to be Ciel Phantomhive when I meet him. But we only have until October 19****th**** to get these costumes made. It'll be hard but I think it's possible. I'M SO EXCITED! If we take any awesome pictures I might put them on DeviantArt. I'm so excited; I just had to tell you. AHHH! I'm actually texting my Grell Sutcliff right now. I'm going to go squeal now. AHHHH! BYE GUYS! **


	3. Chapter 3

Ciel flung himself face-first into his pillow, feeling his cheeks burn at a temperature surely dangerous for a young boy.

_Oh God, what did I just say?_

The once-proud earl buried himself further in his bed, hoping he could hide from what just happened. It was probably the most embarrassing moment; no… it _was_ the most embarrassing moment Ciel could ever even begin to imagine.

It was also the most disappointing.

It was the most heart-shattering, gut-wrenching, chest-clenching disappointment in his life.

But he should have known.

He should have figured it out. His butler was a _demon_, for God's sake. Ciel should have known his latent, ulterior motive was still in play. But with his demon's realistic human qualities and behaviors, Ciel had almost forgotten who he was playing with. Sebastian was just the perfect image of a perfect human. And it was impossible to spend three years with the perfect human and _not_ fall in love with him.

Embarrassed tears and furious sobs racked Ciel's petite frame and silent shudders shook his shoulders. All he wanted to do was disappear, maybe hide in a hole, so he never had to see anyone ever again. Especially not Sebastian.

Just thinking his demon's name caused Ciel's face to heat up again. Hurriedly, he shifted so he could throw the covers on his bed over himself and hide. He curled up and hid his heated face in between his knees. God, he wanted to just die, never to see his butler again.

He wasn't sure how long it was but soon; Ciel began to have a bit of trouble breathing. He ignored it for as long as he could but eventually he had to uncover himself, gasping for fresh air. He caught a glimpse of himself in his bedroom mirror and, ashamed of what he saw, quickly hid again. What he saw was not Ciel Phantomhive. What he saw in the mirror was a sobbing wreck, upset over his own butler. What he saw was _him._

Against his will, Ciel's misery-driven mind incessantly floated back to his demon. His sarcastic smirk, his demonic red eyes, his absolutely perfect skin. His flawless posture, his sturdy build, his broad shoulder. How he looked when taking an order from his master. Oh, how perfectly Sebastian executed orders!

Ciel froze for a second… an idea, a plan began developing and his tears slowed slightly… his idea might just work…

A light knock sounded at the door and the young earl jumped slightly, startled. He swiped at his eyes quickly before granting his butler entrance to his room.

Sebastian shut the door silently before asking softly, "My lord? Would you like me to get you anything?"

A silent shake of his head, a clear negative.

"Young master, this doesn't have to change anything. It's nothing personal; it's just how it has to be. You know that right?" Sebastian seemed insistent, he _needed_ to make sure Ciel knew and understood anything, even if he didn't want to accept it quite yet.

An unhappy nod, obviously an affirmative.

"And you know that I'll be with you until the end, right? And that I will forever be your humble servant. Nothing is going to change that, especially something like this."

An embarrassed aversion of eyes, an attempt at nonchalance.

"Please look at me; I'm still yours and yours alone. I still serve you and will forever continue to carry out your orders to the best of my abilities."

A shrug, clearly Ciel's best effort at a 'whatever'. All Ciel really wanted to do at this moment was implement his plan, but the words became jumbled on the way from his throat to his mouth, mixing together in incoherent noises. His lips glued themselves together and Ciel found himself struggling to control his mouth.

Sebastian, finished with his little speech, made to leave. He was halfway out the door before his name was called.

"Wait, Sebastian!" Those two little words themselves were filled with so much desperation, Sebastian had himself doubting whether or not he heard them come from his strong little master, or if the words were just a figment of his imagination. But when he turned around, he found Ciel had leapt to his feet and was panting slightly, face still bright red.

Happy his master had put aside his embarrassment long enough to speak, the raven-haired butler turned, ready to wait patiently for a reply.

Fully aware of the mortifying blush coloring his cheeks, Ciel choked out, "S-Sebastian, this is an order…" He looked up and met Sebastian's bright red eyes as his contract mark glowed from the order, "I- I want you to… to love me."

Sebastian blinked before kneeling into a deep, familiar boy, "Yes, my lord."

Ciel finally allowed himself to breathe evenly. This should fix everything right? Now he could express his love and in turn, be loved as well. That same feeling he had when his parents were still alive would come back to him and he could finally feel accepted. He would have someone by him, not just because of his soul but because of the other's feelings. His life would become so much happier, no longer had to fight with his everyday problems and predicaments alone. He would have someone to confide in, someone to comfort him. And all this would be done not because of a contract but because of love.

Sebastian Michaelis would now love Ciel Phantomhive. They'd have to keep it a secret, of course, but that made it all the more special. Sebastian cared enough about Ciel and Ciel cared enough about Sebastian to risk everything. Everything would become so much easier. Ciel Phantomhive was loved.

Right?

**Okay, I was writing a chapter for 'Dreamwalking' then I got stuck and wrote this. Oops. But I've been stuck on this for **_**such a long time!**_** So please forgive the lateness of this, it was really hard to write. XD See you all next chapter!**


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